Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Yeah, this right here goes out to everyone
that has lost someone or that
truly loved....
Check it out....
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin' on the block for dough
Notorius they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words can't express what you mean to me!
Even though you're gone we still a team
Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see if you'll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real feelings hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me takin' flics
Makin' hits, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
Somebody tell me why...
One black morning
When this life is over
I know, I'll see your face
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
We miss you....
If there was one day that i could retain in the year 2007, would be October 25th. i wish i could have stayed on longer and spend the last remaining months with you. I never knew that God would take you away that soon. Its so sad.... its so fast... and now it has been so long... i still can't believe that you are gone...i'm still in shock... and sometimes i still think that you are here with us still... i really regret so much...i really do...i regret so much... you have really touched my life with your love towards me...taking care of me during my last 2 years....i love you... i really miss you...
its so sad God... its really so sad... i seem to find it so hard to stand up again since i came back from canada... what is this feeling? it feels so empty... so hollow... so indescribable.. it's hard pretending everything is fine...welcome 2008
stories of joell on 1:12 PM
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I've learned that good-byes will always hurt;
pictures will never replace having been there;
memories, good or bad, will bring tears;
and words can never replace feelings
stories of joell on 5:13 AM
Thursday, June 21, 2007
my birthday on 06061990!! (best class ever!!)
fuck... i was suppose to blog everyday since last month.. but i have been soooo busy that i dont even have enough time to sleep!! so what can i say...?? i finished alll my studies today!! school is over! exams are over!! i managed to catch up in time for everything!! and i'll be home in 4 days for good!! what could be better then that??????? i have to say this past one month has been really stressful for me! and to any canadians from alberta out there... NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER take english by correspondence!!! it is the dumbest and the gayest shit you could ever do!!!! all i learn from that course was to write 50 over essays and read a shakespear book plus another dumb book and one bunch of useless shit which ends up leaving with with sooooo much white hair...
fuck.. now i need to dye my hair!
well...at least im happy i managed to rush a year's course in almost one month and stilll do pretty well in it. i would say that this year would be the first year i have felt i accomplished something for myself. and this is a feeling i have never felt before... or maybe haven felt in a long time......the feeling of accomplishment... =) im proud of myself for the first time!
oh rightt.... another important event that happened this month was june the 6!! lol... yes... it was my birthday.. well... as i was sooo busy this month, i didnt even have time to celebrate it or really plan anything! all i had was a dinner cause i couldnt afford to waste any time not studying.... but the one and only thing that really changed this sucky birthday around was my esl classmates =) they really celebrated my birthday by bringing a cake to school, and food, and presents.....and they even sang a song! lol... im even so touched as i think abboutt it now!!! i'll reallly miss them when i go =(
stories of joell on 1:08 PM
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
this week i only have 3 days of school cause since last friday i had a long weekend all the way till monday and i will have another holiday this friday. and that will be the last holiday for this year... wow... this whole year is going to come to and end soon with only about 3 weeks of school left. i am really excited!! cause that also means i will be back soon =)
saying that... today the vice principal said that i will be kicked out of school next year... meaning that i cant come back to this school even if i wanted to next year since i failed to keep to my side of the probation which is to not have any absences... in a way i'm like...why the fuck would i come back? and another side i'm like fuck.. my parents are gonna fucking flip out once they find out i'm kicked out from the school next year since they are still holding that little bit of hope that i will come back to canada.
anyways, i have already told my guardian not to tell my parents yet cause right now i have so much homework and preparation to do for my final year to try and get good grades to get into the school in singapore so it would be kind of pointless for my parents to know this and give me hell and add on to my 'stress'. well... if i can get into the school in singapore , why the fuck would it matter if i cant come back to this dumbass school i am in now... but at the same time.. what if i cant? i swear i have to do well for my exams if i even stil care about my future..
so one important lesson i am learning right now is that nothing comes in for free... we have to always work hard for whatever we want in life. lol.. what my papa told me when i was a kid is indeed true.
anyways, few more days to my birthday... its wierd how i'm not like i cant wait for it to come....maybe my excitment would only come when i'm waiting till i turn 18. lol
stories of joell on 11:57 PM
Sunday, May 20, 2007
well, it has been a really long while since i've blogged....well... i'm back in canada, and supposedly this time i should be going back in june 25th for good! well, at least i hope.... everytime when i say i'm going to go back for good somehow something happens and i just have to get back here again... hopefully this time everything will go according as plan and there would be no troubles with getting into the canadian international school in singapore.
well.. anyways, its soon going to be may 25th and i really wanna write down everything that happens here for the last one month i have till june. i've said this many times,but it has really been a long journey for me.... its amazing how God above has allowed me to stay here for 2 years!!!!The thought of it all coming to an end brings a bittersweet smile to my face.....it marks an end of a journey in Canada and a new start to life in singapore after 2 years....and how much i look forward to that =)
stories of joell on 1:35 AM
Monday, December 11, 2006
i'm so bored now... just came back home.. I think that I have already done my part in letting go of unnecessary baggage , be it emotions or friends, but I am happy now i'm going back to Singapore SOON!!!! LIKE FUCKING SOON!!!! cant wait to hang out with my brooosss . I guess I can only take it as lesson learnt.hahaha.... WELL today damn funni lah, my cousin told me to check out some what project superstar page, then got one guy who is caled nat. then ppl said my cousin looks like nat.-.- then I saw it and iw as like “ wtf you’re much more better looking then him” and i say he looks like edison chen and he is like so damn fuckin happy! i'm like wtf? lol..so old alreadi still cannot tel i'm joking! hahahahhahaha kiddin kiddin! (dont kil me chris)
my cousin is damn funny. But seriously he better looking than a lot of people but duno why stil got no gf! haixxxx. =)
stories of joell on 10:42 PM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
when i think abt what happened before...sometimes i jus feel so hurt and betrayed.. i treated u all as if u were reali my family and whenever somethng happened u all know that i wil always be there and ive always been helping u all when u all get into shit. have u all forgotten?
___ when u get into trouble while i was in cannda have i not helped you? even to the extend i didnt mind fighting wif my gf? even before that a few years ago have i not been there for you? dont tel me u cannot fuckin remmeber....when u lied to me abt a fight and i didnt even mind comming al the way down from so far by myself even tho i know i might jus get beat up there, but all i thought was to make sure all 3 of u all are safe....
___ do u remember last year when everyone was againsit you and i was the only one who
stood up for you? u remember u had a bad break up and i still called u all the way from canada? i ddint mind going againist the rest even tho i knew i might lose some friends.
___ you are the worst....u treat me like a dog making me do this and that but yet ive always done it when u are never grateful at all and ure always being so fuckin unreasonable but yet i stil always give in to you.
i guess non of u were ever grateful... u think u all treat me as a fren? the only things u all wil do for me is when u all dont have to make a sacrifice at all...not even a small sacrifice, or else u all wuldnt help. i wil always remember what happened when i needed u all in july and non of u helped. and what hurts the most was when ppl whom i dont even talk to helped and its not that they were very very well off themselves... but u all jus never even gave a helping hand at all.... u guys jus treat me as a tower of refuge when u guys get into trouble cause u know i have friends and i can back u up... now.. this is it.... i wil jus pretend nothng has ever happened but always remember that there wil never be another time when u all need me i wil be there for u all again especially if i have a sacrifice any bit. because i can honestly say i dont lose anythng losing u all as 'friends'....
stories of joell on 11:52 PM
my birthday on 06061990!! (best class ever!!)