Joel Ee
//maris stella pri //acs junior //acs barker //calgary christian
//o6o69o
//<3 MrTanPeiwah =))
//joel_boi_lives@hotmail.com
my bros ---> //Peiwah //Jeremy //Leonlim //alvin //nickchia //michael loo //terence //siang koon //leo //arvin //amos //weihoe //eugene
Saturday, June 24, 2006
one full year in cananda has passed... started frm last year september to end of june now. reali has been one long journey for me... sighs...now is the start of a 2 months holiday and my fuckin parents dont want me to go back.... i get so pissed of whenever i think of it. they tel me the most stupidest and dumbass reason of why im not comming back..that is that they have no money! like wtf.... how can they force me to stay in cannda and say they have no money for me to go back and den stil pay for another years of fuckin suffering for me in cannda....that is so fuckin stupid! sighs...i wish i culd argue wif dem and argue my way back but seeing the recent problems that has been happening wif the family i reali cant say anythn.... i jus realised that my student visa actualy expires on september and its so obvious that my parents are trying to be smart and make me renew it now so that it wil expire nxt year september and i wuldldnt be able to force my way back by not renewing it..... but for now ive made up my mind to not renew it yet so that there wuld stil be a open road if i wana go back to singapore or else i wuld be stuck and have no choice but to stay in cannda....
i talked to my mum on the phone recently and i reali get so fuckin pissed off with them....i swear i reali hate my fuckin parents... they have the smartest brains but the hardest hearts... they can continue talkin my brother to change if they continue their fuckin ignorant attitudes. my mum said she also dosnet wan me to go back is also because she dosent like my lifestyle that i come back 2-3 am everynight and all so thats why she wans me to stay in cannda. n that pisses me off so bad too... so if i were to cme back at 2-3 am everynight in cannda and take drugs wuld that mean they wil send me to the 3rd country? wtf is wrong wif dem man... i don do nonsnse in cannda is cause i wana be guai and i wuld be able to go back to singapore and not let it be an excuse for dem to force me to be in cannada. if i want to turn back and get into shit i don think its a damn hard thing to do..... im so fuckin pissed off thinking of the 2 fuckin months im gona be spending in cnanda...i swear i can reali kill someone now....its a fuckin saturday and im fuckin doin nothn....n thats basically how its gona be for the whole summer besides the one or two weeks that i wuld be goin for a short trip.... nvm...i jus have to ta han now and when i reali explode i wil make sure my parents get my ticket back.... all i can say is that this world is fucked up... everyone is fucked up and my parents is even fucked up.... its boils my blood when i thot back how they perusaded me in the past was by saying at least i can go back 3 times a year...n now look.... when i was in singapore someone told me that if i go back now and stay til june and stil cant get used to it den they wil talk to my parents on letting me go back permantly but look... who culd forsee all these problems...whatever ppl say is all one pile of shit, they jus wana influence me to make my parents happy, and when my parents is happy they are happy... fuck dem.. fuck my parents..fuck this world.....im not gona give a shit abt anythn anymore... i didnt know that me tryin to be gd in cannda wuld be used as smthn againset me cos it made my parents think the environment has changed me....wtf..im gona prove it all wrong at once.....
stories of joell on 2:48 PM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i hate this shit family and world that i have.... no one understands anyone
stories of joell on 4:22 PM
If I woke up tomorrow.... If I woke up tomorrow
And the world was upside down
If the sky was green the grass was blue
And nothing made a sound
If the sun slept through the day
And the stars fell from the sky
If the deserts became oceans
And the oceans all ran dry
If the clouds were made of stone
And the earth was made of glass
If music had no melody
And the future was the past
If the mountains turned to wax
And melted with the dawn
If flowers were all grey
And nature’s beauty gone
If I woke up tomorrow
And everything was new
Id still be sure of one thing
Sure that I LOVED you |
| |
stories of joell on 4:21 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
sighs...these few weeks have been reali depressing for me...especially these few days... everythn around me seems to be shattered and im like stuck in a maze where i cant seem to get out! Ther seems no solution out of it at all! whenever i find an opening to a door i see another huge maze. im tired...so tired of this fuckin world. My family is one huge reason why i'm feeling so down... i wish i can share fully the problems that is reali happening but i cant...cause that wuld be an embarrasemnt to my family and brother and cos of these few problems my father was down to high blood pressure and was sent to the hospital for a few days now....my mum is so depressed that she has lost all of her voice and she is not eating now.... sighs, i cant see myself being able to go back anymore now as i cant put any more presure on dem. FUCK! just seems so unfair why i have to be forced to stay here jus bcause of the shit that wasnt casued by me. i hope things wil be better soon...
sighs, i jus feel so overwhelmed wif the problems im having now...even wif havin to deal wif my jealous heart seeing her find someone else....fuck, forget it.... i dont have the mood to do anythn and i stil have to force myself to suck it up as my final exams are this thurs. SO MUCH problems and i jus feel so sad and lonely. no one i can reali share to... recently i got to know this dealer that speacialises in coccaine and some other drugs....how tempting issit for me to take it as i reali need jus even half an hour to forget abt everythn and be high for jus a moment. sighs, i hate this fucked up world we live in.....
stories of joell on 2:48 PM
